Effective Meetings (last installment)

Helping behaviors

• proposing - "How about ..."
• building - "To build on John's idea ..."
• seeking information - "Please describe ..."
• seeking opinion - "How do you feel, Ken?"
• giving information - "Here is my report ..."
• giving opinion - "My opinion is ..."
• disagreeing - "I disagree with Rob because ..."
• summarizing - "To recap the issue ..."
• testing comprehension - "I heard you say ..."
• testing consensus - "How many agree?"
• encouraging - "Say more about that idea ..."
• harmonizing - "What do we agree on?"
• checking performance - "How close are we?"
• setting standard - "We need to decide by ..."
• relieving tension - "The humor in this is ..."
• paraphasing - "What I heard you say was ..."
  

Processing strong feelings:

(1) acknowledge feelings

(2) remain neutral

(3) seek first to understand, then to be understood

(4) process feelings by:

• observing silence
• taking a break
• silently brainstorming issues on cards
• sharing concerns
• identifying areas of conflict and commonality and ideas for bridging gaps
• suggesting ways of resolving conflict

(5) refocus conversation on original topic/goals

Dealing with hurtful behaviors

• late arrival - start on time, don't update
• side conversation - stop, look at offenders
• dominators - ask them to scribe
• rambling - use parking lot if point is relevant
• negativity - ask group to comment on negative opinions
  

Building consensus (= agreement + support)

• test for consensus by verbal polling or written vote
• use consensus to determine team functions (meeting frequency, ground rules, roles, etc.)
  

Recognizing symptoms of conflict

• ideas get attacked before they are fully stated
• comments are personal attacks
• win-lose pressures
• members take sides